I ain’t practical…I just realize that I love Him just as much as He does… December 26th, 2008
Rob, I don’t know. It just seems like I’m trapped between the two of you…
the one that I have loved before and the one who loved me his whole life.
Its not easy to choose though… I thought Letting go of those things would
make it easier. But what can I do? I ‘m trapped inside him… I know it make
things harder for you… But if you could wait Rob…everything would be
alright… I hope… Just Let me love you now without any limitations
between the two of us… Let me love you without any boundaries…
without limiting you to falling in love with anyone… You know how much
this hurts, but this is me, not being too selfish. I know its hurting you, but
it hurts me the most seeing you suffering with me… It’s not what I dream
of for you. Rob, if I could turn back times I wish I chose you… I wish
something inside me became attracted to you the night you said that
you Love me… It’s just hard for me to cope up Rob when the time I knew that
my heart could stop beating anytime, you were the first one to know.
You were my instant shock absorber. And I don’t know what force are you
bringing for me to be at ease with you… You are the one who always gives
way and it hurts me so much knowing that I am the one that cause you
a lot more pain than you deserve. It is unfair for you…You didn’t do
anything so wrong for you to endure this agony with me… I deserve to
be hurt though… Every single strand of my breath is now counted.
It’s limited and I don’t want to waste it anymore. By doing stupid things.
Stupid things that would hurt both of us. I want to spend my remaining
days smiling… Contented. I don’t know. But every single day that we talk,
every single hour that we spend with each other’ s company though were
damn far apart, it makes me feel secure…calm… serene… I feel fragile in
your arms… I wish you’re here with me… Just like we dreamed before…
Just me and you… not you, me and him… You know that I’m so blessed
having you here… beside me. You are such a great companion, a friend,
a brother and the one that I truly Love… damn it I did not realized it
before, Before when you are still here with me… Ready to fight for me,
ready to stay with me through thick and thin… And I’ m glad that upon
the million souls that I merely bumped in from the beginning until now…
you are the one that was sent to heal those wounds of the past… of my
curiosity about life… Rob, thanks so much for everything i’ m lucky having
you as the most special gift from above. Thank you for Loving me and
caring for me…
Thank you for everything..
~Anonymous#07~
